tired prt 1

i am tired of building and constructing all these fences,erecting all these walls and blockades.

i am tired of waging this war and fighting a lost battle.

i am tired of the excuses i made up and told,

i am tired of running,running away from who i am and what i know to be the truth.

tired of putting a restraining order and keeping you at arms length,

i am tired of loosing,tired of fighting and tired of turning you away Lord.

i am tired of the distance i have put between us,ti red of shying away from what’s right in front of me.

And i am tired,tired of being unhappy.tired of being depressed,settling for less and selling my birth right.

I am tired of slaving away just to have  peanuts thrown at me and meaningless rewards.

I am tired of vain people whispering sweet nothings in my ear with nothing to offer but pain,misery and empty promises.

i am tired of shallow,ignorant people trying to fit me into a mould,stereotype,trying to place me under a status-quo.

I am tired of being someone else when the only role winning me an oscar is being myself.

I am tired of trying to fit in,trying to be cool.

I now realize that pleasing everyone is a life long task that cannot be achieved.

I am tired of strangers pretending to know me and what i am about.

I am tired of being afraid of saying what i really want to,tired of censoring and editing everything just to be (damn)politically correct,and not to come across as insensitive.

I am tired of wearing failure as a logo and trying to measure up to a standard i know was designed for me to fall short of.

I am tired of the image being painted,what i should be like by the media,presenting me with stick figures calling it sexy and “yam” legs are suddenly hot.