she’d always Been the girl with a smile on her face and a light spring to her steps. She fairly glided and wherever she went she was a breath of fresh air and a ray of sunshine. She met him and uttered her first words. Words he taught her when he first said them.
3 words to open her eyes
3 words to open her heart
3 words to melt her
3 words to turn her world upside down
3 words she’d keep saying never to be uttered from his lips.
Her blue skies are replaced with dark, stormy nights, her glide to stubbed toes.
Her once summer yellow dress has turned grey.
She gazes at him hoping he sees her, desperate for just one look.
One look to touch her skin, one look to save her.
Her blood seeps out her pores panting those 3 words.
She lays on the cold, hard floor, empty and alone, seeking just 3 words.
Thump! Thump!! Thump!!! To the sound of her last 3 words
Thump!!! Thump!! Thump!… her last 3 beats
She smiles as the darkness consumes her. His look the last thing she sees as he utters his 3 words.
Finally he sees her but never to be seen by her.
Brooding seems to be the order of the day
I am lost for words and don’t know what to say
I wish you would stay
Even if it’s just so we could play.
When the night comes and I lay
All I can do is pray
For another way
to throw away
The opinions that you have of me that won’t sway
Though I know your response is nay
I try not to keep at bay
The emotions that would relay
To you that I am Okay.
Too broke to have an opinion so I am moving on from me.
My sacrifices and changes are naught
You won’t get past the me you knew and think you know.
You define me by the moment you meet me.
I am nothing to you but her who clings to sleep and who is lazy and has a thousand and one excuses for being exactly that.
My truths are not worthy in your court of conclusions.
I am not up for trail but the jury is out and I am guilty
My revolution won’t be found in your opinions of me
I have tried to be the me you seem to want me to be.
You unravel me with a single thought and word.
You wound and you undo all I thought I had built and walked away from.
I end up being the me you think you knew.
I am moving on from you.
I am becoming numb and my tears are emptying.
I get exhausted and broken when you constantly remind me of how I can never please you.
I am never good enough.
I have craved your approval. Bent over like a branch every which way to accommodate you.
I am cold.
You thrust me into the frost and I can’t break free. I call out but no ones there to answer.
I am starting to turn into a watering pot and I don’t like this part of me you’ve unleashed.
I have forgotten to live for me.
I scrape hours of the night to unwind and be me.
My days are slow and they drag and it’s still the same me I get to live with.
The me who was happy to have taken a million steps only to have you destroy that believe with a simple’that’s why you are fat and eat and sleep and are lazy’.
I work hard to be a better person who isn’t selfish and I can’t remember the last time I did something that was just for my pleasure with no one else but me to benefit and enjoy.
Yet I am she who is selfish.
I am too broke to have my own opinions and I have spent them all in my book of thoughts and hurt so I am moving on from me, I am moving to a person I like and can live with.
My heart hurts too much from all the band aids I have placed.
I need to heal.
I want to apologise to everyone for being off the blogosphere recently and not getting back to all the cooments and messages on time.
Truly sorry for that.
Will do better.
But how is everyone doing? missed you guys. let me know