Blogging, Musings, story time

What’s bee happening (if you’ve been wondering)

So for those of you who’ve been following my adventures, I am sure you’ve been wondering why my posts have been sporadic and all over the place?

Well I just recently moved! More like relocated really 😁 to a different CONTINENT!

If you’ve read any of my long distance relationship (Ldr) posts, you would know that my husband and I dated long distance and this spilled over into the first 2+years of our marriage with a lot of juggling of time difference, finding cheap flights and trying to squeeze as much quality time together while still trying to make a living or be functional members of society if you may lol

So the BIG move happened recently after going through more than a year of immigration processes, rejections and validations to finally bring us to today. Today represents our current state of finally living together and building the life we’ve always dreamed and planned for. It’s been just over a month since the move and I would love to say it’s been all sunshine and rainbows but no it’s not!

Transplanting your life isn’t as easy as they make it look and sound in the movies, books and songs. There’s a lot of back work involved. Documentation, work/ possible career change, money differences, shopping and food diversity, a different system and all that.

But all that is a walk in the park to finally have “Today”. We don’t have 6000+ miles between us anymore, no sleepless nights, no time difference, no horrible network problems and so forth. It’s not perfect but it’s still paradise.

I get asked if I would do it differently and change our process. I would love to say yes, but my answer is I don’t know if having the opportunity to do it differently would make us as strong as we are and as purified going through the fire (our process) as we have.

It’s our process and I am happy that we conquered it and made it to the other side.

Our story isn’t over by any means, it’s Just starting a new chapter ❤️.

Advertisements
Musings

Are Your Resolutions Working?

 

March is the 3rd month in the year and most of us started 2018 with a resolution or 100 of them if my guess is right. If you’ve kept even one of the resolutions you made at the start of the year, then Bravo! And kudos to you. Because as it turns out, a lot of us don’t even make it pass the first couple days of making them. As it turns out, new year resolutions became popular after the great depression and though a lot of people make them, not everyone keeps them.
Actually, more than half of the people who make resolutions fail in keeping the resolutions they make within the first couple of months in the new year. It’s not because they were not resolute enough or that they didn’t believe in their resolutions, it’s mainly because some resolutions are unrealistic, made as a self motivation tactic or totally not well thought out. Most people lose the feeling they had at the start of the year that prompted the resolution in the first place. The motivation might be gone, they might be feeling defeated due to lack of visible results, impossible goals were set or they totally forgot and abandoned said resolutions before February the 28th.

So to make your resolutions work, you need to change your mentality. Rewire your brain of sorts. Change your resolutions to goals and make them achievable.

Work on them one at a time and not several at a time.

For example:-
Weightless
Exercise
Stop smoking
Debt management
Better money management
Relationship improvement or dissolving
Diet Etc.

Even though its March, you can still work at achieving your goals and making them work. its never to late.

wink.gif

Images/gifs sourced from google.com

Blogging, Musings, Writing

Things That Have Made Me Happy This Month.

As most of you know, I just started blogging again. So blogging is definitely on the list of things that have made me very happy this month and I can’t wait to share more of myself, lessons learned, crafts, stories,  tips, DIY,  lifestyle and relationship tips to help you grow as an individual, blogger or business.

1.My Marriage.

A lot of people wonder how my husband and I do it, they always ask me questions on how we manage or cope with the distance and time apart. There are a ton of Ldr tips and advice that I have shared on my blog and that others have shared, but as with everything in life, you need to find what works for you. And that’s what my husband and I have done.  Anyone who knows my husband or I, knows that we spend a lot of time in communication. We call one another several times in a day, text, chat, email, video call one another and support one another with work and business also. It’s very important to keep up with your spouse and communicate effectively, plus you need a large dose of patience to be in a relationship and drum ”fulls” to be in an LDR.

Below are links to some tips, experiences, growth  and struggles that can help you in your LDR.

Ldr posts

sometimes it hurts and I write about it also. can you?

Some Poetry I wrote to help me cope and they might help you too or encourage you to write about it. ldr poems  A couple more ldr poems .

2.Family.

It’s been a joy visiting with family this month. I am one of those people who love seeing new places but never actually likes the process of going there. Well this applies to old places too. I love the idea of being somewhere, but I don’t actually want to get off my behind, sit in a car, train, ship, plane or even bike to get there. But if you ask me if I love to travel I would say yes! because my brain is interpreting it as an opportunity to see or be in a different or new place. So yes going to visit my family makes me very happy.

  1. Being part of a healthy discussion.

I love stimulating conversations and this month I have enjoyed being part of various such discussions. Because of a game I play, I have gotten to meet and enjoy chatting with a group of really awesome ladies and a young man. They are funny, smart, amazing and magical in their own way. Though a game brought us together, It’s grown to something resembling sisterhood instead. I am grateful for them and they make me happy too.

4.New Projects.

My friend and I are currently working on something that I shall be introducing you all to very soon, and working on this has got me all shades of emotional lol; Joy, laughter, annoyance, frustration (new things and the frustrations they bring) , happiness etc. This project has taught me a lot about myself and I am happy with the results. I have learned that I am patient, resourceful, resilient and very smart.

  1. Running My Business.

Making money isnt always easy or direct. It can be a rollercoaster of disappointments, hurt, anger, loss, gain and other things especially when you are just starting out. So be patient and keep moving because quitting isnt going to take you to your desired goal. And yet running my own business albiet very small and not always rewarding financially has its perks and I am enjoying them immensely. This makes me happy.

Through out the Month of February, there are so many experiences that I can draw on that have made me happy, but this will do for now. I just wanted to share a little part of my month with you and how some of these things have changed my life. This month might have not seemed all that great to you, but if you also take some time out to make a list of the good and happy times, you’ll be surprised to find out that its not as short as you think.

Take a moment to share the things that made you happy with me in the comment section below  😁☺😁

 

 

Musings, Writing

Honest To God Writing.

As I type in this title, all I can think about is take me back!

Take me back to a time my thoughts did not need ink to flow inebriated, when it just flowed down in a rush like a broken faucet.

Plumbing

Take me back to the time of deep depths and bottomless wells. where my words would race down on paper leaving me baffled as to their origin.

I wanna swim the un-clogged pipe where my poetry stroked and backstroke(d) diving unhinged and unapologetic into the minds of those who dared to read my nakedness.

Take me to a time where I cared so much about not caring what you thought of my broken silence, where my words were unashamed and fiercely present.

I miss the intimate sharing

the mind sharpening

The exposing of souls through more than ”just words”.

Take me back.

 

 

Google.com images used

Guest posts, Guests posts, Inspired

LIFE LESSONS: JUST GO WITH THE FLOW

So, I will be putting up guest posts every week or bi-weekly so feel free to send me original works and properly label them so all credit will go to you. (sunesiss26@gmail.com)

A dear friend of mine Kehinde has done me the honor of agreeing to be a guest Author on my blog on a weekly basis. So watch out for her.

I hope you all like her début piece on my blog. Enjoy.

My mum loves having new clothes, there’s no other way to put it. She loves it so much so that she frequents the tailor’s like monthly. Personally I don’t understand it, in my mind I’m like “but you have enough clothes”, but it’s none of my business so I say nothing and without questions follow her to the tailor’s anytime the situation calls for it.

As it is my mum will go any length to get quality out of her material. She’ll go the extra mile to find a tailor that’ll do the job well, that’ll do justice to her clothe. Her current talior has his shop a long distance from our home but he’s very worth it. He’s expensive but very creative and detailed and it is with commitment to his excellence that my mum visits his shop with every of her material, no kidding.

It was on one of those days that I followed my mum to her tailor’s shop. We’d been there for about 3-5mins with my mum telling her tailor the adjustments she wanted him to make, him clarifying why he added or didn’t add a design, when a woman of about 50 entered into the shop. I’m terribly bad with telling people’s ages so I couldn’t tell her age until she mentioned that she was a grandma. My first impression of her was neutral, she didn’t know me, I didn’t know her, but of course there was the courteous greeting initially. Because she’s older -that was pretty much obvious- I had to get up from my sit for her as a show of respect, what irked me was the air about her that I perceived had her feeling that indeed I had to get up for her afterall she was older. She didn’t even tell me thank you o. All well, nothing doing. I continued to watch the banter between my mum and the tailor somewhat bored, I was restless and ready to go. More adjustment and talks later and the woman that entered in was shouting.

This woman had given the tailor specifications of what she wanted in her clothes, she’d given him two lace materials. She’d heard he was very good and brought her materials to him to sew because she was to wear it for her son’s wedding. If you know an average Yoruba woman, an everyday Yoruba woman, you’ll know how seriously -emphasis on seriously- they take their parties and everything associated with it, especially when they’re an important part of the party, and especially when they happen to be the mother of the celebrant! Note if you’re a vendor: pressure alert! To be honest the material was nice, like very nice…before I digress though. The tailor out of sartorial common sense and over-creativity (if ever it exists) sew something that was a bit different from what the woman had specified. In my opinion the tailor did an awesome job. I loved what he did with that material, but once the woman sighted it all hell broke loose: he didn’t sew exactly to her specification. While my mum out of womanly understanding tried to reason with the woman, and the tailor looked on in confusion (you should’ve seen his face), I sat being irritated because I didn’t understand how someone as old as she could throw a tantrum over something so trivial. I don’t ridicule what her opinion is, she bought the material and has the right to dictate what happens to it, but hey, this guy was only trying to spice things up. That was how she kept crying and shouting until the tailor, still in confusion, started loosening the seams of the clothe.

I took some time over that incidence and concluded with the most powerful lesson from that: NEVER ATTACH YOUR EMOTIONS TO MATERIAL THINGS. It’s okay to like things in an inexplicable way, it’s okay to value things, it’s okay to attach sentimental values to things, but please never let it control your emotions or reactions. That woman reacted the way she did because she was emotionally attached to that clothe. My guess is that she’d had this fixed vision of what she wanted in her mind and nothing could change that. Flexibility is important. If we were a bit more flexible we wouldn’t get so worked up about things not working out our way. It’s a lesson I’m learning daily and for someone who’s getting over worry I’ve found that just letting go and allowing for life to do its thing will relieve a lot of pressure, does that mean we should be passive? No. But it does mean that if we’ll get over anxiety or spontaneously sparking out of anger, it’ll be because we have learnt to go with the flow and not be overly attached to things that won’t last.

By Kehinde.

Images found at http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=lessons&FORM=HDRSC2