Loving my ‘Creative’ Self.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved seeing things come to life and creating new things out of old, existing or even brand new things. And the funny thing is through all this I never thought of myself as a creative person. In fact, I was more in awe of other people’s creativity and their abilities to present their thoughts and skills/ talents.

It’s amazing how subconsciously we bring ourselves down or even lower our esteem without even realizing it. We always compare ourselves, our looks, our gifts, our intelligence and even relationships to that of someone else and somehow ours comes up short in our minds.

So this might not be true for everyone but it was for me and when I finally realized what I had been doing to myself, I had to make deliberate strides to stop doing it and to consciously correct that pattern of thinking because it’s not healthy. Yes people will be better at things but that doesn’t mean I have to feel inferior or even act inferior and I can also appreciate others now without taking it as a competition.

However, loving my abilities or talents didn’t happen over night and sometimes I still beat myself up but in doing this, I have also realized that it has caused me to fall in love with myself more and all my various facets.

Self love is beautiful, it has nothing to do with pride or narcissism. I hope everyone gets to a point in their lives were they fall in love with themselves daily.

Crochet/knitting 🧶…

FOOD 🥘…

My new home.

So since moving across continents, adjusting and making my new life work has basically been foremost on my mind.

There’s been change, joy, happiness, sadness, nostalgia, excitement, adventures had and to be had, home sickness and a cocktail of varying emotions that bombard me at various tempos.

But all in all even when it’s not been fun, it’s been adventurous. Everyone asks me what the biggest thing has been for me or what the most culture shock I have experienced is and sometimes I feel like my answers leave them disappointed lol. But that’s just me though! I try not to let too much get to me and when it does, I take my time to process it that at the end of the day it ends up being anti-climatic for everyone involved lol 😆.

But it helps me process , cope and that works for me just fine. I try not to let the wonders and faults of my new home pass me by, because I want this feeling and excitement to last longer. I don’t want to be jaded just yet, so I stop to smell the roses and acknowledge the strengths and weaknesses that she offers.

Everyone keeps telling me I had better start adapting and changing with the flow and I agree to adapting but I don’t have to change and lose myself just so that I can fit in. That’s not my way. I believe my new home and I shall come to adjust to one another’s curves till we both fit and work well together.

All in all it’s been wonderful traveling here and experiencing this way of life that’s so much more different and yet not so different at the same time.

I am curious to learn about your experiences moving, even if it’s next door lol.

Seasons

This year has been a whirl of Ups and Downs but at long last I am finally where I am supposed to be. We go through seasons and each of them are geared to show and teach us something. Doesn’t mean the lessons will be easy, kind, good or even bearable but when we come through on the other side we end up forever changed. One thing to keep in mind is to ensure we come out the victor rather than letting the process break us.

What’s bee happening (if you’ve been wondering)

So for those of you who’ve been following my adventures, I am sure you’ve been wondering why my posts have been sporadic and all over the place?

Well I just recently moved! More like relocated really 😁 to a different CONTINENT!

If you’ve read any of my long distance relationship (Ldr) posts, you would know that my husband and I dated long distance and this spilled over into the first 2+years of our marriage with a lot of juggling of time difference, finding cheap flights and trying to squeeze as much quality time together while still trying to make a living or be functional members of society if you may lol

So the BIG move happened recently after going through more than a year of immigration processes, rejections and validations to finally bring us to today. Today represents our current state of finally living together and building the life we’ve always dreamed and planned for. It’s been just over a month since the move and I would love to say it’s been all sunshine and rainbows but no it’s not!

Transplanting your life isn’t as easy as they make it look and sound in the movies, books and songs. There’s a lot of back work involved. Documentation, work/ possible career change, money differences, shopping and food diversity, a different system and all that.

But all that is a walk in the park to finally have “Today”. We don’t have 6000+ miles between us anymore, no sleepless nights, no time difference, no horrible network problems and so forth. It’s not perfect but it’s still paradise.

I get asked if I would do it differently and change our process. I would love to say yes, but my answer is I don’t know if having the opportunity to do it differently would make us as strong as we are and as purified going through the fire (our process) as we have.

It’s our process and I am happy that we conquered it and made it to the other side.

Our story isn’t over by any means, it’s Just starting a new chapter ❤️.

Poetry prompt:- Light keeper

The Traitor Within

He’s the traitor that lies within my walls hiding in plain sight for all to see

Playing his drums loud and proud a beat all his own

He plays my tunes for all to hear,

A symphony of all my secrets poured out to an audience of one

To squeeze out of hiding every note I’ve held dear; Strumming through my arteries the lyrics of my soul Bruising my veins with the quill of my truth till I bled the traitor that’s become my heart on his guitar.

 

 

The Sun In your Eyes

The sun in your eyes

makes me want to see you in the sunshine

and bathe in your rays,

even though the night has always been good to us, the twilight purveying the art in our love in a silhouette of mismatched emotions,

but its always been beneath the sun’s light that our solo aria becomes a duet

Lessons On Waiting.

I always admire those who just exude patience from every pore. They are content to wait and never give up, doubt or challenge the process they are going through.
In comes me like a tiny fur ball bouncing with excitement and vibrating with energy. Wait you say? ‘erm’ how do I do that? every iota of my being is pushing for results, answers, movement! anything to show progress.
I consider myself a patient person, but its the act of being patient that I sometimes find tasking.I want to be that person who waits with grace and finesse but sometimes I end up a quivering mess of almost tears and loud questions mostly punctuated with ‘WHY!’ LOL (So much for elegance).

I am blessed to say that not many a great things have tested my faith to the point of doubt, anger or recanting it, and yet going through Long distance relationship for four years and then long distance marriage (not on purpose) for almost two years, I find myself left with a lot of questions and a niggling feeling of impatience. But of course everyone around me thinks I am a Champ and they always punctuate this feeling with comments of how amazed they are, how they couldn’t possibly do the same if the positions were reversed, how strong I am and how well I am doing.

However, all I want to say is no! I am actually not that strong, I am just being strong out of necessity, because I have to be strong. It’s a survival mechanism, because the moment I stop being strong, I will probably unravel and it will take a lot to put this ‘humptidonty’ back together again. My husband on the other hand I feel drew the short end of the stick, I get to still experience the things I love, be surrounded by family and friends and not have a lot of things change or be too lonely.While on the other hand he has friends turned family around him, but no actual relatives close by and even though he has had to go through a couple of lifestyle changes, he doesn’t have me around to help out as a partner should.

So, on the issue of waiting, I have come to conclude that though everyone’s process is different, and we all lead different lifestyles, still we ought to find what lessons life’s teaching us as we wait. It would be very sad to go through it not learning anything at all.

What lessons have you learned from waiting and what lifestyle changes did you have to make because of it?

REKINDLING MY LOVE AND FINDING PURPOSE.

I have always loved writing. Growing up I was that child who talked a lot, sang a lot, wrote long essays, laughed a lot and made friends easily. But as I grew older, I still talked a lot but in doses and in select company. My writing grew into something I didn’t even know I had in me. I still sing and laugh and do all the stuff I enjoy doing, but not as often. My heart cries out from the need to write and express myself and yet I pick up the pen and talk myself out of it or draw a blank once pen hits paper.

And on the issue of friendships, I seem to have drifted away from them and sort of isolated myself. sometimes I miss it, sometimes I do not. yes it would be nice to have someone to hang out with and do stuff with but most of my friends do not live in the same city as I do and I haven’t particularly gone out of my way to make more. I guess sometimes I feel the efforts all on my side. Though I have never been the lonely type, so I am glad for that at least.

Alas, this post is about finding myself, purpose and love for the things I enjoy doing. I have started writing again and I am so happy about that. I have also started blogging again and not just posting pictures of my crafts and DIY which is something I am happy about. But the thing I am most happy about is making money doing the things I love.

I am being paid to write, create and develop content and also manage a couple social media pages. I never thought I would make money writing or blogging and yet it seems I am on my way to doing that and even more.

So I just want to encourage you to keep at it and never give up on your dreams. It might not look like it, but it’s there. You just have to keep on trying.

Ldr Musings