n. the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it—whether through envy or pity or simple foreignness—which allows it to drift away from the rest of your life story, until the memory itself feels out of place, almost mythical, wandering restlessly in the fog, no longer even looking for a place to land.
I am always open to reading books of different genre but not always of the children’s book variety. Reading Elle’s story pronounced (Ellie) I quickly forgot that it was for children. The character is one we can all identify with through the various struggles and challenges she faces and later overcomes. It’s a book about Love, loss, hope, healing, kindness and a lot of things we sometimes forget to teach or remind our children to be. Though this tale is woven through fantasy, it can’t help be anything but real. Elle Burton reminds us to be brave,honest and even believe in the magic of people, friends and family. Be sure to join Elle in her adventures in this first installment.
March is the 3rd month in the year and most of us started 2018 with a resolution or 100 of them if my guess is right. If you’ve kept even one of the resolutions you made at the start of the year, then Bravo! And kudos to you. Because as it turns out, a lot of us don’t even make it pass the first couple days of making them. As it turns out, new year resolutions became popular after the great depression and though a lot of people make them, not everyone keeps them.
Actually, more than half of the people who make resolutions fail in keeping the resolutions they make within the first couple of months in the new year. It’s not because they were not resolute enough or that they didn’t believe in their resolutions, it’s mainly because some resolutions are unrealistic, made as a self motivation tactic or totally not well thought out. Most people lose the feeling they had at the start of the year that prompted the resolution in the first place. The motivation might be gone, they might be feeling defeated due to lack of visible results, impossible goals were set or they totally forgot and abandoned said resolutions before February the 28th.
So to make your resolutions work, you need to change your mentality. Rewire your brain of sorts. Change your resolutions to goals and make them achievable.
Work on them one at a time and not several at a time.
Better money management
Relationship improvement or dissolving
Even though its March, you can still work at achieving your goals and making them work. its never to late.
Images/gifs sourced from google.com
I love my husband very much (with the title above, I am most certain this isn’t the opening line you were expecting). But as I was saying, I love my husband very much and yet we don’t share an interest in the same type of reading materials most of the time. I tend to get away from being sucked into reading anything he’s picked up or even school assignments or papers he has to write because the material serves as a snooze button for me. But to be fair, its not that they are boring, its that I don’t have an interest in them. Although, I try my best to to help him out and also develop somewhat of an interest in the titles he is interested in and skim/read through a few of them. This was the case when I stumbled on something very interesting and quite serious that inspired this post.
I was helping my husband read through ‘The Tipping Point by Malcolm Caldwell’ (I love Malcolm Caldwell books by the way even though I haven’t read a lot) and I didn’t even know it was his book when I agreed to help (#goodwife). We split the book into chapters and I got chapters 7 & 8 which I grumbled at (because I felt I wouldn’t know what the book was about starting at the end) but I still went ahead and read them.
I have heard of suicides on international TV but nothing local here in Nigeria that I recall (not saying there aren’t any, just don’t recall any or on national news either). I have seen / heard on global/international news children , celebrities, the elderly, parents (adults) committing suicide and even though I felt sad and mourned the loss, I never understood it.
However, reading ‘The Tipping Point by Malcolm Caldwell’ opened up a new angle of suicides and the epidemic surrounding them especially in recent times. In the society I grew up in and religiously, they are frowned upon. I believe that even when a member of the community does commit suicide, it would probably be reported differently. Maybe an Illness, homicide, ”his or her village people attacked” or God is blamed for it. Rarely is mental illness mentioned as opposed to the western culture I’ve observed online when its almost always a case of mental health when the cause /reason of death is suicide.
In this book, the suicide epidemic / contagion in the Island of Micronesia is brought up and used as a case study along with the death of celebrities like Marilyn Monroe and the rate of traffic accidents in relation to a highly publicized suicide. The research of ”David P Phillips” was used to explain this phenomenon of escalated suicide and traffic accidents right after a highly publicized suicide on TV or the newspapers. Below are snippets of his research not the whole thing because it isn’t my intellectual property, I will only post snippets and you can read the whole thing online.
This paper shows that suicides increase immediately after a suicide story has been publicized in the newspapers in Britain and in the United States,1947-1948. The more publicity devoted to a suicide story, the larger the rise in suicides there after.The rise in suicides after a story is restricted mainly to the area in which the story was publicized.Alternative explanations of these findings are examined; the evidence indicates that the rise in suicides is due to the influence of suggestion on suicide, an influence not previously demonstrated on the national level of suicides. The substantive, theoretical, and methodological implications of these findings are examined.
There was a reference to Marilyn Monroe’s death and its effect on the national suicide rate and how it rose to about 12 percent temporarily after the announcement of her death.
On the Micronesian suicide epidemic, read this article
HONOLULU, March 5— In the islands of Micronesia, young men are killing themselves at one of the highest rates in the world, researchers say, and no one knows what to do about it.
Suicides among males between the ages of 15 and 30 are so prevalent that they have become an accepted method of problem-solving in the island societies where harmony is highly prized, according to the Rev. Francis Hezel and Dr. Don Rubinstein.
”For several years suicide has been the No. 1 cause of death for youths in Truk,” said Father Hezel, a Jesuit who has served for nearly 18 years as director of Xavier High School in the Truk Islands, where the suicide rates are highest.
Father Hezel was the first person to notice the trend, in 1977, and he wrote a magazine article on the problem. Since then, he and Dr. Rubinstein, a researcher at Honolulu’s federally financed East-West Center, have collected many facts on the problem. But they do not yet have solutions, said Father Hezel, who is doing research in Honolulu as part of a year’s leave of absence.
Twice as High as in U.S.
…………………………………………….. read more on http://www.nytimes.com/1983/03/06/us/micronesia-s-male-suicide-rate-defies-solution.html
Finally, the purpose of this post is to share what I have learned, draw your attention to a different way of looking at suicides, what might be causing them and what are your thoughts on this issue and our communities.
I wasn’t going to write on this issue before because there is so much i don’t yet know or understand, but after hearing about the community in Ohio, I thought now would be the time to have a conversation about it, it might help someone.
Please share your thoughts in the comment section below
And if you know someone going through something be sure to contact professional help.
There’s always a knee jerk reaction to news that we all exhibit in one way or another, be it pleasant or unpleasant. For some people the reaction is always subtle and seems thought out. you wonder to yourself how calm, can this person be or how is it that they aren’t reacting to this situation or that situation?
I like to look at the people around me when things are happening to see how they are reacting to the situation/ taking in news. I tend to ask myself is there a wrong way to react or are our reactions dictated by society on how it should be? If so, does this reaction still remain genuine and pure?
For example, what if your immediate reaction is to laugh where others are shocked, sad or crying? does this make your initial reaction wrong? does it lead to questions and issues of mental health?
I know these are a lot of questions, and yet this is what I have been stewing on today. Have you thought about this same issue today? have you reacted the ”wrong” way recently or at some point in time?
please share your experience with me.
As most of you know, I just started blogging again. So blogging is definitely on the list of things that have made me very happy this month and I can’t wait to share more of myself, lessons learned, crafts, stories, tips, DIY, lifestyle and relationship tips to help you grow as an individual, blogger or business.
A lot of people wonder how my husband and I do it, they always ask me questions on how we manage or cope with the distance and time apart. There are a ton of Ldr tips and advice that I have shared on my blog and that others have shared, but as with everything in life, you need to find what works for you. And that’s what my husband and I have done. Anyone who knows my husband or I, knows that we spend a lot of time in communication. We call one another several times in a day, text, chat, email, video call one another and support one another with work and business also. It’s very important to keep up with your spouse and communicate effectively, plus you need a large dose of patience to be in a relationship and drum ”fulls” to be in an LDR.
Below are links to some tips, experiences, growth and struggles that can help you in your LDR.
sometimes it hurts and I write about it also. can you?
It’s been a joy visiting with family this month. I am one of those people who love seeing new places but never actually likes the process of going there. Well this applies to old places too. I love the idea of being somewhere, but I don’t actually want to get off my behind, sit in a car, train, ship, plane or even bike to get there. But if you ask me if I love to travel I would say yes! because my brain is interpreting it as an opportunity to see or be in a different or new place. So yes going to visit my family makes me very happy.
I love stimulating conversations and this month I have enjoyed being part of various such discussions. Because of a game I play, I have gotten to meet and enjoy chatting with a group of really awesome ladies and a young man. They are funny, smart, amazing and magical in their own way. Though a game brought us together, It’s grown to something resembling sisterhood instead. I am grateful for them and they make me happy too.
My friend and I are currently working on something that I shall be introducing you all to very soon, and working on this has got me all shades of emotional lol; Joy, laughter, annoyance, frustration (new things and the frustrations they bring) , happiness etc. This project has taught me a lot about myself and I am happy with the results. I have learned that I am patient, resourceful, resilient and very smart.
Making money isnt always easy or direct. It can be a rollercoaster of disappointments, hurt, anger, loss, gain and other things especially when you are just starting out. So be patient and keep moving because quitting isnt going to take you to your desired goal. And yet running my own business albiet very small and not always rewarding financially has its perks and I am enjoying them immensely. This makes me happy.
Through out the Month of February, there are so many experiences that I can draw on that have made me happy, but this will do for now. I just wanted to share a little part of my month with you and how some of these things have changed my life. This month might have not seemed all that great to you, but if you also take some time out to make a list of the good and happy times, you’ll be surprised to find out that its not as short as you think.
Take a moment to share the things that made you happy with me in the comment section below 😁☺😁
I have always loved writing. Growing up I was that child who talked a lot, sang a lot, wrote long essays, laughed a lot and made friends easily. But as I grew older, I still talked a lot but in doses and in select company. My writing grew into something I didn’t even know I had in me. I still sing and laugh and do all the stuff I enjoy doing, but not as often. My heart cries out from the need to write and express myself and yet I pick up the pen and talk myself out of it or draw a blank once pen hits paper.
And on the issue of friendships, I seem to have drifted away from them and sort of isolated myself. sometimes I miss it, sometimes I do not. yes it would be nice to have someone to hang out with and do stuff with but most of my friends do not live in the same city as I do and I haven’t particularly gone out of my way to make more. I guess sometimes I feel the efforts all on my side. Though I have never been the lonely type, so I am glad for that at least.
Alas, this post is about finding myself, purpose and love for the things I enjoy doing. I have started writing again and I am so happy about that. I have also started blogging again and not just posting pictures of my crafts and DIY which is something I am happy about. But the thing I am most happy about is making money doing the things I love.
I am being paid to write, create and develop content and also manage a couple social media pages. I never thought I would make money writing or blogging and yet it seems I am on my way to doing that and even more.
So I just want to encourage you to keep at it and never give up on your dreams. It might not look like it, but it’s there. You just have to keep on trying.
As I type in this title, all I can think about is take me back!
Take me back to a time my thoughts did not need ink to flow inebriated, when it just flowed down in a rush like a broken faucet.
Take me back to the time of deep depths and bottomless wells. where my words would race down on paper leaving me baffled as to their origin.
I wanna swim the un-clogged pipe where my poetry stroked and backstroke(d) diving unhinged and unapologetic into the minds of those who dared to read my nakedness.
Take me to a time where I cared so much about not caring what you thought of my broken silence, where my words were unashamed and fiercely present.
I miss the intimate sharing
the mind sharpening
The exposing of souls through more than ”just words”.
Take me back.
Google.com images used