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Brooding seems to be the order of the day
I am lost for words and don’t know what to say
I wish you would stay
Even if it’s just so we could play.
When the night comes and I lay
All I can do is pray
For another way
to throw away
The opinions that you have of me that won’t sway
Though I know your response is nay
I try not to keep at bay
The emotions that would relay
To you that I am Okay.
Too broke to have an opinion so I am moving on from me.
My sacrifices and changes are naught
You won’t get past the me you knew and think you know.
You define me by the moment you meet me.
I am nothing to you but her who clings to sleep and who is lazy and has a thousand and one excuses for being exactly that.
My truths are not worthy in your court of conclusions.
I am not up for trail but the jury is out and I am guilty
My revolution won’t be found in your opinions of me
I have tried to be the me you seem to want me to be.
You unravel me with a single thought and word.
You wound and you undo all I thought I had built and walked away from.
I end up being the me you think you knew.
I am moving on from you.
I am becoming numb and my tears are emptying.
I get exhausted and broken when you constantly remind me of how I can never please you.
I am never good enough.
I have craved your approval. Bent over like a branch every which way to accommodate you.
I am cold.
You thrust me into the frost and I can’t break free. I call out but no ones there to answer.
I am starting to turn into a watering pot and I don’t like this part of me you’ve unleashed.
I have forgotten to live for me.
I scrape hours of the night to unwind and be me.
My days are slow and they drag and it’s still the same me I get to live with.
The me who was happy to have taken a million steps only to have you destroy that believe with a simple’that’s why you are fat and eat and sleep and are lazy’.
I work hard to be a better person who isn’t selfish and I can’t remember the last time I did something that was just for my pleasure with no one else but me to benefit and enjoy.
Yet I am she who is selfish.
I am too broke to have my own opinions and I have spent them all in my book of thoughts and hurt so I am moving on from me, I am moving to a person I like and can live with.
My heart hurts too much from all the band aids I have placed.
I need to heal.
I want to apologise to everyone for being off the blogosphere recently and not getting back to all the cooments and messages on time.
Truly sorry for that.
Will do better.
But how is everyone doing? missed you guys. let me know
I woke up to find you near
Standing by the head board grinning
Smiling that smile I love
Wearing your heart in your eyes, lips and essence.
I froze, not believing you are finally here
Screeching I jump into the embrace that’s all mine.
A scent that comes only in my dreams.
A hug I feel through the miles.
A look I’ve mastered between screens and wavelengths is mine for the taking here and now; by my head board.
A jolt of electricity from a touch I’ve come to forget sizzles and zaps me
My closed eyes startle open in shock and the only thing by my head board is the shadow of the moon and the harmattan that zapped me awake when my frozen fingers slid against the bed sheet.
This has become a habit but I am ever hopeful for the reality.
Hey guys if you are currently in an Ldr (long distance relationship) and would like to join Ldrbn which is for bloggers in ldr and blog about is, then click the link below to join/apply. Don’t forget to put me down as you referral (Sunesis).
Let me know how it goes.😊😉
I try to write,
Write the words in my heart
Put my feelings to words.
Every time I try,
I come up short.
You hurt me
So many broken words my pen cannot make them whole.
They’re there in the air floating through my breath
I reach for them and they evaporate.
I see them in the water
Drowning in my tears
I dive in only to choke on them.
They’re smudged and stained.
Broken and scattered.
I try to write but my fingers cramp with the effort.
I try to speak but my voice won’t pass the words lodged in my throat.
These words are all I have but even they won’t do.
I wrapped them around you like a blanket.
These words were our cocoon
But these words won’t do any more
These words are no longer enough
You hurt me and took the words away
What can we say to make it better? Sorry……. Sorry?
Images found at:-
Never was one for relationships
Avoided them like the plague
The mere suggestion of that bind made me wary
I daintily sidestepped all offers and gift wrapped all proposals and propositions back to the unsuited suitors
I laughed in the face of the visionary who saw a revelation of me being theirs with no prior contact or friendship (the audacity of some people is baffling and their confidence mind boggling).
You and I, happily ever after was a tale never written.
More of a disaster than anything.
To think that I would play little women good wives with you is as farfetched as you hiking Everest in a day.
No sir this was never meant to be and your happy ending never made it here.
(This piece is still unfinished and I decided to leave it that way).
By no means should any of my work be completed, edited, reproduced or rewritten without express permission from me.
Images can be found in the links below.
My supply of creativity is emptying
You kissed me, sucked my words away.
It tingled as it left my fingers and sizzled with the loss in contact.
It licked through my pores and escaped through my mouth as I said the words back.
Dumb as a lamppost as I stand gazing at you with stars in my eyes
And the old me drooping through my lips and sense hanging out my dropped jaw.
I saw her you know; Sensibility
As she mournfully left me
A cold draft of air,
Many a shivers and the hold of doubts as they stare me down
questioning my sanity as I gaze at you with the moon on my lids.
You touch me and Mr. Doubt couldn’t run fast enough.
And warmth that swamped me to heal the frost resident on all vital organs.
You caught me
Broke my fall and wrapped me in your warm embrace.
Your lips are sore from kissing my tears away
Your arms cramped from hugging me in your embrace.
I am never at a loss for what to say
yet you leave me speechless.
Images and gifs gotten off bing search.
Written content is an original property of Sunesis(Atomic words)
Express request and permission has to be granted for any sort of use or reproduction.
Distance is 9765 kilometers or 6068 miles or 5273 nautical miles
You wound me,
Gently and quietly but surely.
You scrape and scratch
Peels and flakes of scabs
Old wounds opened
New ones inflicted.
A warm hot cloth,
Ointment and balm,
Plaster and a kiss.
You nurse me and patch me up.
Sharp words! I cut you
Slashing through your armor to pierce your heart.
Puddle of shock and pain,
Words I can’t take back
I need a moment
Arteries heal, veins reconnect me to you
I need a moment.
You breathe me in and hide me in your beating heart.
This is worth it
I fought for this and will hold on.
We start over
laughter and joy
Happiness and fun
Broken but whole
Why were we broken?
Not seeing or gaging reactions we blow out of proportion what could have been healed with a simple smile or laugh or joke
Yet we wound because we cannot feel or see,
All pictures are not mine. Can be found online.
But the write up and post is. No unauthorized usage of any post found on Atomic words. All property used should be linked back to this blog.