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By Queen. F. Photizo
Chaos! The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as “complete confusion and disorder; a state in which behaviour and events are not controlled by anything”. That’s exactly the way I see the world now. The beautiful world we live in. A lot of things seem to be overturned today. I mean In terms of trends, values and standards. Based on the tales we hear from our parents and other members of the older generation, we know that the world we live in is a lot different from the one they grew up in. When I think of the rapid change I wonder if I really want to bring children into this world. There’s no telling how crazy things are going to get. For you to really relate with I’m talking about, I’mgoing to analyse a few examples of areas where the world has become completely orderless. But first I want to ask the million dollar question. When and how did the world become such a topsy-turvy place? It’s a question no one can really answer, right? Like my friends would say; “question for the gods”. Anyway let’s begin.
A friend of mine once jokingly said that it would soon get to a point in this world where virgins would be stoned to death for daring to keep their virginity in a perverted world. I laughed at the time she said it because the thought of it was very funny. But as I think deeply each day I realise that it might not sound so ridiculous afterall. I mean, there are some things that go on today that would have sounded absolutely ridiculous and impossible just a few years back. People are getting married to animals now. I read about a woman who married a dog! She had a wedding ceremony and all! The sad truth is, we are now in an era where the things that people are supposed to be ashamed of are the things that are celebrated with so much pride while the things that used to bring honour and pride are now objects of shame. A girl in her twenties who is still a virgin might be reluctant to let people in a particular circle know that, because she might become the object of ridicule and derision. I’ve actually heard a lot of guys say “I can’t marry a virgin. I want someone with a lot of experience and skill in bed”. I usually tell such guys, “then make sure you marry a prostitute. You will get all the skill and exprience you could possibly want”. I once had a friend who told me that she had to lie and pretend she wasn’t a virgin to her boyfriend because she was afraid if he knew, he might not be interested in her anymore. It was the day they had sex for the first time he discovered the truth and of course, he was disappointed. Now when I remember the stories from the older generation I literally shake my head. In those days, a bride was celebrated and her parents honoured if she was certified a virgin on her wedding night. The world is so crazy now that sometimes it’s even the parents that encourage their children to have pre-marital sex. I read on a blog sometime ago where an unmarried young lady in her twenties said her mother took her to the doctor’s to have her fitted with an Intra Uterine Device; a birth control tool. Her mother was basically telling her “you can have all the sex you want as long as you don’t get pregnant”. You might be thinking this happened in the western world. If you think so you’re wrong. This was a Nigerian mother encouraging her equally Nigerian daughter to engage in pre-marital sex.
Now let’s examine dating. In the days of the older generation dating meant a guy trying to please a lady; taking her out to fancy restaurants, buying her gifts, etc. Now it has become an opportunity for men to enjoy all the benefits of being married to a certain lady without giving her parents a dime as brideprice. She does all a wife would do; sex, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. After a while, a reason for breaking up pops up, she moves on to the next guy and the whole cycle is repeated over and over again. I ask myself; how many times does such a lady have to play “wife” to different guys before she is finally considered to take up the actual role? How many guys does she have to sleep with before she finds one that thinks she’s fit enough to be his wife? Some of these ladies wind up aborting several pregnancies because each time they get pregnant, the guy finds one reason or another why they aren’t ready for kids and marriage. It’s sad but it is the world as we know it now. This brings me to my next example of how the world has gone crazy.
We are in a time of illegitimate children. You could sometimes hear a young man say something like “oh I’m not married but I’ve got a baby mama”. What?! A “baby mama”? What does that even mean? It has come to my notice that people are creating fancy words to cover up shameful situations. Women go about shamelessly declaring themselves “baby mamas”. Can we just call a spade a spade? Let’s say it like it really is. Since when did having bastards become fashionable? The definition of a bastard is an illegitimate child; one born out of wedlock. So those so called “baby mamas” are proud of the fact that they have bastards. And what about those poor innocent kids? Children need both a father and a mother to be actively present in their lives in order to grow up properly. More and more innocent children are being born into dysfunctional families and that seems to be a good thing. So sad! However I wouldn’t want any misconceptions. I’m not saying I’m a saint. I’ve had my own crazy moments too. Afterall I live in this world so I get to partake in its craziness once in a while but I still try to maintain my standards because I’m royalty and I’m therefore required to behave in a certain way.
As I sit and ponder on these things I wonder what the world will become in five years. I wonder the kind of environment my kids will grow up in. I wonder the kind of influences they will be exposed to. I wonder about the next crazy thing that would be considered normal in this inverted world. One thing is certain though, even if the world becomes so overturned that people think it’s better to stand on their head than their feet, I’d still be an old-fashioned lady and insist on doing things the right way. Peace!