Slowly sinking to the bottom
Drowning with each breath;
Helpless to stop the inevitable.
The placebos wearing off, but the effect remains.
It’s choking the very life out of me.
But shaking it off, I kick hard to touch the sun at the surface.
Breaking through, taking in mouthfuls I breathe.
Awakening to the reality of my nightmare;
Your presence reminds me of our insipid existence.
I am insipient of my role in this.
Running away, a minor impertinence that’s easy for you to flick off your shoulder.
Confident in your ability to press my buttons, getting me to dance to your tune.
Your legions hound my heels as I pick up the pace to distance me from you.
The fear of being lost without you threatens to cripple my resolve.
My identity I gave up to you.
Finding me doesn’t appeal because it means searching in you.
So I walk away.
Not denying my past, but embracing it.
Knowing that though you broke me, I’m stronger now.
You no longer have power over me.
I’m free to decide.
I say yes and accept the joy and beauty that comes from within.
What couldn’t kill me made me stronger.