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‘’ I’m dreaming of a white Christmas’’.
Of course I am. Never had one, seen countless in movies and carols.
Yet I had the promise of one. Funny, it’s still mine if I want it. Given on a platter of gold, no strings attached.
This could be the year of something new, fresh, mysterious and all my own.
Instead, I let the harmattan come in, bringing doubts and fear along with it. Freeing my snow at night and melting it with the morning dew.
filling up my walkway with chips of ice, turning it to a deceptively beautiful scene, giving the illusion of a smooth, slippery, thin surface, solid and perfect enough for skating, just to break and cave in the moment you are gullible enough to step on.
So while you were building castles in the air, believing that I was right there floating on cloud nine, I was slowly drifting away, till I free fell. Landed on a concrete and broke my wings.
‘’ I ‘m wide awake!’’ aware of all you’re offering, wanting to believe in it. Wanting to let go, stick my tongue out and just taste the snow.
Yet something holds me back. A wall so high blocking me, a hand so tightly gripping my arm.
You see, I was comfortable just staying put, but you changed that.
Was happy watching you chip away at the wall piece by piece, brick by brick, just to replace those you dislodged or broke. See!!!… I was content!
Yet you reminded me of my healed wings, coaxing me to trust and take flight again, to just believe and fly over the wall and break away, to leave the cold, blue world I had erected.
Leaving all my blue Christmases behind and looking forward to a white one with you.
Finally I am ready to stick out my tongue and taste the snow, knowing that even if the cold stings, I’ll be too warm to notice.