We were once close,
or so i thought…..
We could talk all day and not get weary,
there was no flummery with us,
or was there ?
i thought we were friends in the real sense of the word, you know, reflecting each other,
i guess i was wishing….
i deluded myself into thinking we were one of the rare ones who weather the storm,
then of course that wasn’t your dream was it ?
it was all mine.
they tell me all things work out for good,
but i wonder if you think of me, and when you do, are those memories fond?
i like to think you do, if not for anything, for the sake of my sanity.
i remember the day you checked out, you didn’t leave physically at first,
but i knew in that moment i no longer had you.
it was difficult letting go, if not for pride, i might have been dragged away kicking and screaming.
Where would that have left us? me trying to hold on to something i no longer had,
you hating every moment you stayed.
So like a bird, i had to let you go.
Put on a smile,even though i didn’t feel like it and tell you through gritted teeth that you were born to fly.
I had hoped you would look past my smile to my eyes and see what my lips weren’t telling you.
But you didn’t, you choose not to see and gave me a chaste hug, a fatherly kiss on the head and bade me adieu, ”like we be guys”.
It was in that moment i got the message loud and clear,
but denied it,
i didn’t want to see,
I chose ignorance and the momentary bliss it offered me.
But now, I see.
You gave me something in that moment- a truth, and a summary of all we had,
it was wrapped up in that one moment,
the shortest goodbye from the longest friendship.
I stopped holding on and let go.
You’d already slipped through my finger and it was time for me to move out of your shadow and into my spotlight.
it was time to live my life for me, to know myself,
look myself in the mirror and identify the reflection as me.
For so long i was just known as your friend. But now,
I get to have a name and be known for me.
So thank you for the years,
Thanks for the friendship,
But most of all thank you for leaving. Because I finally found my strength without you.
I can now stand on my own two feet and the feelings awesome.
i wouldn’t have been able to do so with you around and me clinging to you,
So thank you, thank you for the disillusionment, it was my wake up call.
Thank you for the heart break, or so we thought; when it was in fact my healing.
Thank you for deserting me,i thought i was lonely, but instead i learned to love the company of one.
And most of all, thank you for the slap to my person,
it helped me to let God fix all the pieces i shattered into and learn to love me for me.
This is me saying goodbye finally…….ADIEU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.